Calming the Nervous System

this coming up all right great so what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna invite everyone to take three deep breaths together now i know the initial reaction might be what's this hippie girl on stage telling me to do to take three deep breaths now what we're gonna do is inhale and exhale with sound why do we do this when we exhale with sound the vibration at the back of our throat stimulates the vagus nerve does anybody in the room know what the vagus nerve is in control of so our vagus nerve controls whether we're in our sympathetic or parasympathetic nervous system now when our nervous system is activated we lose our ability for cognitive thinking our decision making goes out the window so that's not really a great place to be making friends and connections if we're not feeling psychological safety we can't create the relationships to actually communicate and collaborate so as a group is everybody on board are we willing to take three deep breaths together yeah all right great so let's go ahead and meet on an exhale breathing all of our air out and then deep inhale in exhale with sound i think about one third of the room exhaled with actual sound let's go ahead and close our eyes for a minute and we're gonna breathe in deep exhale with sound and relax and on this last deep inhale starting now fill all the way to the top fill sip in even a little more air and hold that in and on this exhale you're going to release all the muscles in your body your shoulders your back your anus all of it exhale uh great job folks so now that we've calmed our nervous systems and i want to invite you when you're meeting someone and you notice yourself start to be a little bit activated and a little bit excited keeping in mind that that stoke can actually create an energetic field that might be making the person in front of you not feeling as comfortable it's funny how excitement can actually create fields where it's harder to connect in so now that we've started to calm our nervous systems a little bit i invite you to use this tool for yourselves when you're sitting and you're starting to get activated just a quiet exhale with a little bit of sound stimulate that vagus nerve all right so i want to invite everybody to stand up get out of your seats and we're going to move our bodies just a little bit you're going to shake your hands you're going to move your shoulders we've been sitting all day and then i want you to look behind or to the side of you and you're going to find one person and this person is going to be your buffalo corn so look around you i know it's a little edgy find one person and go up and stand facing that person all right we have ten nine eight seven six four six five four three two one okay please raise your hand if you have your buffet corn in front of you all right go ahead and put your hands down please raise your hand if you don't have a partner yet anybody who doesn't have a partner okay awesome so the person with the longest hair is gonna go first and you're gonna tell you're gonna tell the person in front of you three words that describe the experience you've had so far here at east denver so the person with the longest hair three words to describe your experience thus far go ahead and start all right once we've completed this go ahead and switch to the person partner b is the person with the shortest hair three words to describe the experience that you want to have in the next three days so the person with the shortest hair three words to describe the experience you want to have and begin all right let's take a deep breath in all together and exhale with sound ah there we go okay so turn to face your buffy corn one more time buffakorn and you are now going to come up with a secret handshake so this person is your buffalorn for the rest of the conference weekend so every time you see this person you have to act out this secret handshake you have two minutes to come up with a secret handshake with this person so we're talking slapping hip bumping twirling push your edges i know it's uncomfortable it's uncomfortable on purpose secret handshake time let's go [Applause] [Music] you know [Applause] so all right let's practice that handshake one more time one more time run through that handshake with your popcorn all right go ahead and say thank you to your buffet corn and find your way back to your seat [Applause] oh thank you all right so remember any time you see this person the rest of the conference you are now obligated to do your secret handshake all right great so often when we come into spaces together like this we find ourselves repeating the same introduction over and over how many people are sick of introducing themselves in the same way over and over please raise your hand me too i get it i travel all over the world speaking and presenting at conferences and i've tried to find ways of introducing myself in new ways so that i don't get bored so we're going to get to do a little game with us right now and we're going to play with the i am game stand up again everybody back on your feet you're going to find someone new so we're looking to the right or the left so not your buffacorn i know you guys are homies you you connected find someone new and come to stand facing all right great please raise your hand if you don't have a partner yet we've only got 10 more minutes of connecting guys i know we can do this we can make it through all right so please raise your hand if you found your next partner [Applause] okay so partner a is going to be the person with the most colorful clothing all right and so here is our prompt you are going to have one minute in which you complete the sentence the sentence stem is i am and the goal is to not stop talking so you're going to say i am i am a developer i am from this part of the world i am a son i am a father i am a brother and you're going to go as continuous stream of consciousness as you can for one minute so partner a the person with the most colorful clothes beginning with the sentence stem i am and go uh we've got 30 seconds left try to fill that space [Applause] and five seconds left wrapping up one more sentence here and coming into silence let's go ahead and take a deep breath in exhale with sound all right partner b is going to begin same thing one minute i am sentence stem partner b less colorful clothing and begin 30 seconds left [Music] [Music] [Applause] five seconds left one more sentence here [Applause] and coming into silence now ending that last sentence deep breath in and exhale ah yeah your guys's nervous systems are going to be so calm after this all right coming into silence go ahead and say thank you to your partner in whatever way you want that can be a hug that can be a handshake whatever feels good to you guys and we're gonna move through the space and find one more new partner so go ahead and move through the space find one more new partner looking for somebody else to pair with please raise your hand if you have a new partner put your hands in the air if you found somebody new i see folks some folks are exchanging contacts i love that take your time all right raise your hand if you found a new partner all right ready to go so we are going to repeat the same thing but guess what you can't use a single word that you used in your first introduction so you're gonna take a minute completing the same sentence stem i am but you can't use a single word you use the first time are we ready so person number one again is going to be the person with the most colorful clothing i know it's edgy feel the discomfort let it sink in i am but what i used all my words all right person number one person a go ahead and begin now [Music] 30 seconds left try and keep it going and five seconds left wrapping that up last sentence [Music] and coming into silence let's take a deep breath in just for kicks deep breath in and exhale with sound ah let me hear a little more sound guys come on we're we're all weak in deep breath in exhale with sound ah there we go all right partner b go ahead and begin same thing sentence stem i am not using a single word you use the first time and start 30 seconds left keep it going [Applause] and five seconds left finishing up that last sentence stem [Music] [Applause] and coming into silence here deep breath in exhale with sound all right we're in our final activity of the day so i want you to look at the person that's standing across from you and we're going to take this last minute and you're going to finish the sentence stem we are so you've just been listening in you've been hearing differences and similarities and you're going to go back and forth each person is going to say one line we are then finishing that we are both at eath denver we are both developers we are both so we're going to take our last minute and share back and forth we are go ahead and begin and then you're coming back [Music] 30 seconds left [Music] five seconds left finishing up that last one sentence last sentence from each person and coming into silence it's our last deep breath in together guys so let's make it count deep breath in exhale say thank you to your partner in whatever way feels good for you thank you everybody so much for coming remember keep connecting and keep breathing